derp/derpserver: split off derp.Server out of derp into its own package

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This exports a number of things from the derp (generic + client) package
to be used by the new derpserver package, as now used by cmd/derper.

And then enough other misc changes to lock in that cmd/tailscaled can
be configured to not bring in tailscale.com/client/local. (The webclient
in particular, even when disabled, was bringing it in, so that's now fixed)

Fixes #17257

Change-Id: I88b6c7958643fb54f386dd900bddf73d2d4d96d5
Signed-off-by: Brad Fitzpatrick <bradfitz@tailscale.com>

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