ipn/ipnserver: make Engine argument a func that tries again for each connection

So a backend in server-an-error state (as used by Windows) can try to
create a new Engine again each time somebody re-connects, relaunching
the GUI app.

(The proper fix is actually fixing Windows issues, but this makes things better
in the short term)

Signed-off-by: Brad Fitzpatrick <bradfitz@tailscale.com>
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