syncs: use TryLock and TryRLock instead of unsafe

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The docs say:

Note that while correct uses of TryLock do exist, they are rare,
and use of TryLock is often a sign of a deeper problem in a particular use of mutexes.

Rare code! Or bad code! Who can tell!

Signed-off-by: Josh Bleecher Snyder <josh@tailscale.com>

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