ssh/tailssh: make pty termios options match OpenSSH

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Still not sure the exact rules of how/when/who's supposed to set
these, but this works for now on making them match. Baby steps.
Will research more and adjust later.

Updates #4146 (but not enough to fix it, something's still wrong)
Updates #3802

Change-Id: I496d8cd7e31d45fe9ede88fc8894f35dc096de67
Signed-off-by: Brad Fitzpatrick <bradfitz@tailscale.com>

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