util/set: add new set package for SetHandle type

We use this pattern in a number of places (in this repo and elsewhere)
and I was about to add a fourth to this repo which was crossing the line.
Add this type instead so they're all the same.

Also, we have another Set type (SliceSet, which tracks its keys in
order) in another repo we can move to this package later.

Change-Id: Ibbdcdba5443fae9b6956f63990bdb9e9443cefa9
Signed-off-by: Brad Fitzpatrick <bradfitz@tailscale.com>
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