control/controlclient: support incremental packet filter updates [capver 81]

Updates #10299

Change-Id: I87e4235c668a1db7de7ef1abc743f0beecb86d3d
Signed-off-by: Brad Fitzpatrick <bradfitz@tailscale.com>
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Internal Server Error - Gitea: Git with a cup of tea
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Gitea Version: 1.28.0+dev-477-g8b6ad49a5f