wgengine: replace Engine.SetNetworkMap with SetSelfNode

The engine only used the netmap to look up self addresses and the
self node's primary routes, so pass it the self node directly
rather than the whole netmap.

Updates #12542

Change-Id: I13c0028eed65d2177baf4cf6c449f5e441845a18
Signed-off-by: Brad Fitzpatrick <bradfitz@tailscale.com>
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