net/tsdial, ipn/ipnlocal: stop using netmap.NetworkMap in Dialer

tsdial.Dialer.SetNetMap rebuilt an O(n peers) map of MagicDNS names on
every netmap change. As we move toward per-peer incremental deltas,
this becomes quadratic. This removes it and replaces it with
SetResolveMagicDNS, a callback into LocalBackend that looks up
hostnames from nodeBackend's new nodeByName index (populated alongside
nodeByAddr/nodeByKey on both full and delta paths). The index stores
both FQDNs and short names as keys.

This is the same treatment applied to netlog (8f210454d), wglog
(988b0905b), and drive (1d6989408): stop pushing *netmap.NetworkMap
into subsystems and instead have them pull from LocalBackend's live
data via callbacks.

Updates #12542

Signed-off-by: Brad Fitzpatrick <bradfitz@tailscale.com>
Change-Id: I24557ab0c8a27636e08e4779bcfd3ec633db0a78
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